i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
