It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
