This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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