ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now