We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
