So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think my vagina is haunted
I understand Curling. That high.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
