Don't you send me to vm
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize