last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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