...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
