haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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