no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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