what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize