I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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