You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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