This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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