dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
