So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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