No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
