That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
