Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
