True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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