I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
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Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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