it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
