i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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