Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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