I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
