I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
