my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i need some magic done to my vagina
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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