did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
