I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
