I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
