Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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