forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
