U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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