He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
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Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
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And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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