how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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