I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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