Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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