I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
