I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
