I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
