The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
