I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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