Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
