So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
