I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize