yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
