ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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