so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
