This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
