I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
