somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
