The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize