Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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