I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
