Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....