The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
People in love make me want to vomit
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.