Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me