how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
