At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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