so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
