let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
