i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
