he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
we're so committed to being not committed
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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