You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
